keskiviikko 27. helmikuuta 2013

I wish I could rip my head off!

I wish I could rip my head off!

I can't stand my mom she is pissing me off! Like seriously, who can ask you everyday when you are coming home when you are trying to live a life with your loved one. And when your parents can't accept the person that pisses me off too. Seriously I could just write here all day long about my mom how she is making me feel.

One part was funny, when I was going to Miami but the shit went all wrong. I really found out that she is messaging with my ex about it. And she were asking him if she is still interested of me, like what if she is moving to near you and bla bla bla other shit.

Like seriously who's mother still contacts to your ex? It's a fucking ex so please leave him a alone. I am not interested about my ex anymore, I do not care what he do with his life. I been trying to talk with my mom to get me a own apartment IF I come back to Finland, because I do not wanna live with my parents anymore, I'm 21 years old and I think in this age you move out.
Because I don't wanna end like my uncle or my cousins(not for bad, if you are reading this). My uncle is nearly 60ish and still living with his parents which is ridiculous. Or my cousins they are still living there too. I do not wanna end up like that, or maybe I should just move with them too and live like a fucking happy family. NO!

And no I'm not on my period! Just wanting to push these things here maybe someone reads maybe not.
Just I don't know..

My boyfriends parents got me health insurance because my own parents didn't want to help me.
His parents have done to me a lot, bought plane tickets back and forth. Well mine did couple times but they just want me get the cheapest and longest, and no back ticket. Like last Christmas I was going to come with Tim to Finland, but my parents fucking spoiled that too, and they really had to put the damn sauna to small pieces to fix it.

And now they are trying to get me come home because the dogs are waiting for puppies, yes I do love puppies but they should do something for me too. I am not their fucking slave, I feel like that thought.
And my brother who always got everything what he wanted. Playstations, computers, tablets, phones, big tv's etc. I had to buy my own computer and work for it even I didn't like my job that much. Which I quit when I came to The Netherlands.

Like really why me, sometimes I got these bad feelings on my mind, even I think everything is good with me. I live with my buddy and he loves me. But I wish I would get some kind respect from my parents before I do something bad to myself, because of them.

Right now I feel like going to sleep, I been trying to clean but I'm a damn addicted to computer games, yes I said it. Well that wasn't new, been gaming since we got the first Nintendo. And that was like 1999'ish?

I need to get a best friend to share all my bad feelings but I do not have any.

By the way its getting dark outside, I hope Tim comes home soon cause I'm HUNGRY!

Oh well, I been streaming all day talking crap with some Finnish people and playing, soon I need quit cause Tim will grab the computer and I will sit with the lame small laptop.


And my tail bone isn't fixed yet and it hurts when I sit too much on this chair, I get up once a while to get some air.

I wanna get a tattoo. I was thinking to get something about my parents but right now I feel like no I wont.
Something like this (down below)








And then both arm sleeves. I got a lot on mind. Maybe in the future (:

xoxo, Mel ♥
















tiistai 26. helmikuuta 2013

Something boring :D

Hellou!

Sorry I haven't post here for while, I actually suck at having a blog.

Well I moved with my boyfriend to Rotterdam, but I will be moving myself to Boskoop.
I'm trying to find a job still no luck :(

And I had stuff going on. I was going to be a Au pair in Miami, Florida. The family sound nice and all, but later my boyfriend found out there is something wrong.
The agency man was called Robert but suddenly all emails was sent by a different person. And Tim was like hey wait a minute.
I didn't notice that first, even I saw it I thought its someone from the office who is also sending messages by name Robert.
So we looked from the internet and we found a lot stuff about this scammer and someone already got scammed by him,  luckily I didn't, I only got emails and I sent him back. We called United States Embassy which is here in The Netherlands, and they told that we need send emails to them about this agency. So we did, and they reported to United States FBI about it. I hope they catch this guy and break his dreams, like he did mine. I was really into go as Au pair to USA, now I don't feel like being Au pair anymore, because of this person.

Anyways, I'm searching for a job still.

It was Petra's Birthday last Friday!
Here some photos.
 We had so much fun, we ate and drink, laugh.


Also Jess had her birthday!
I was also caught in some photos!



What else, nothing else really happen to me. I just miss Arnhem so much, all friends are there.

I have to choose:
  • Go back to Finland
  • Start work in a Greenhouse
  • Start work as Au pair
  • Do nothing



I do not wanna go back to Finland thought, I like to be here but getting a job is really hard.






By the way I started to Stream games in http://www.twitch.tv/worstromance
Please check me out, I might start post here something about my gaming stuff. Haha

xoxo, Mel ♥